Sunday, February 25, 2018

Imagine

There seems to be a constant, of never ending change.  This week has been not been bad, there were times when I had been easily agitated and irritable. Its was in those times and through those tears, I thanked God.  I gave praise to my Savior and King because it says in His word, it is through the trials and tribulations we walk by faith with Him, that makes us strong.

In all my prayers for a change and my prayers for others, there is a little prayer I am listening for a response from God.  If those reading this could pray for me also, it would be appreciated. I always like to do something different for my birthday, coming up next month. This year my birthday falls on a Saturday, so I have already made sure I have the day off.  You see I have been praying to God about an event that happens to take place on my birthday. Okay the event, is a gala. I have never been to a gala before.  The gala is being held by a Community Christian school to raise funds for scholarships.  Since the gala is held to raise fund for school education, happens to be Christian based, and the funds are to help fund tuition, I want to attend all the more. My prayer request comes with the price of the ticket.  I am glad a portion of the proceeds go to tuition, however, I am still struggling with the amount.  At this point the amount for one ticket is the only thing that would stop me, that and fear of course. 

Yes, fear, what if God's answer is yes. "Go child, I will take care of it for you", as He has done so many times.  Then comes a whole list of other things for me to worry about. What do you wear? Do I sit alone because I haven't bought another ticket? Does this require me talking to other people socially? Will politics be involved? . . . .I could go on, but instead of worrying, I will keep praying and listen for God.  The gala is about a month  away and gives me more time to pray about it and hear from God and what He wants.








                                   

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Here

Deep down and way back in the darkest places of my mind, I am disappointed in myself for not being good enough to be loved by my father. I know I shouldn't, but it is hard convincing myself otherwise. It is because of this I sometimes feel there is not a guy in the world that will understand me, and also the reason I have trouble with male relationships. There is not a guy that would fight for me, laugh with me and love me past this broken mess known as me. I fear I would mess things up if the right guy did ever come along. My worst outcome is having a desire for that connection, but being left with emptiness and loneliness to keep me company.



  I am grateful, my first love, my King is still working on me. . . . .             




Masterpiece




Lyrics
Heartbreaks a bittersweet sound
Know it well It's ringing in my ears
And I can't understand
Why I'm not fixed by now
Begged and I pleaded
Take this pain but I'm still bleeding
Heart trusts you for certain
Head says it's not working
I'm stuck here still hurting
But you tell me
You're making a masterpiece
You shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see you're making a masterpiece
Guess I'm your canvas
Beautiful black and blue
Painted in mercy's hue
I don't see past this
You see me now
Who I'll be then
There at the end
Standing there as
Your Masterpiece
You're shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see
You're making a masterpiece
You're making a masterpiece
Heart trust you for certain
Head says it's not working
You're making a masterpiece
You're shaping the soul in me
You're moving where I can't see
And all I am is in your hands
You're taking me all apart
Like it was your plan from the start
To finish your work of art for all to see
You're making a masterpiece
You're making a masterpiece
I will be your masterpiece
Written by Emily Lynn Weisband, Bernie Herms • Copyright ©