Unfortunately, during the storm yesterday my laptop seems to have died. I'm saying this because it will probably be a couple months before I get a replacement. I'm writing this message from my phone- which doesn't work so well when posting longer blogs. In essence I will be working on my journey, and won't be posting for a while.
The last message my pastor gave was on "Beware of Worry". This was the right message at the right time. Not going to worry, but be obedient to my Savior and King, as I already know this is for His glory.
I seem to have gotten a song stuck in my head. The song is by Boys Like Girls, its called Be Your Everything.
Thanks for reading, hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Dominique Lanoise.
Dominique Lanoise. I watched several weight loss documentaries last year. The one with the biggest impact on me was the one about Dominique. She moved here from the Dominican Republic. As I watch her story, my heart ached for her -and her daughters. She exhibited classic symptoms of overeating disorders. She often exemplified agitation , emotional highs and lows and a disconnect or unawareness of her internalization. Her story said that she been put in a facility that could monitor her intake and activity, but she left. Dominique left this world and traveled to meet our Savior several months after leaving. Dominique Lanoise
As I look at her face, I am reminded of my mother-and her struggle with eating. I reminded because both women ultimately lost their battle. I pray that I can do this for my daughter. I don't talk about my eating disorder with very many people. The ones I do talk about my eating habits with understand. This struggle is far worst than drugs or alcohol. You need food to survive. This struggle is real. It saddens me that people pass judgement on overweight people. Society says also assumes so many negative things about over weight individuals: "they smell", "they are dirty", "they are all lazy"," they are dumb". When the truth is that we just dont have restraint and discipline when it comes eating habits and physical activity. You can see our struggle on the outside; where as you cant see an alcohol or pornography addiction.
Commitment. We are studying about the church at Corinth in bible study. I like the title my pastor gave "Church Gone Wild". Wednesday we came to this word: commitment. I thought about my commitment. I have now been going to the gym for almost six months. This is the longest I have continuously gone. I thought to myself if I would have quit by now I would not be where I am now. I think about my commitment to go to the gym and cook my meals (It helps that Catch was there the very first day). Now, I don't like to think of myself as a commitment-phoebe, but while my pastor was speaking on the subject my mind took a brief trip back in time (I was still listening to him though-the whole time). About seven years back I was dating this guy-at this point I would have to say it has been one of my longest lasting relationships; lasting all of six months. We took a trip down to Miami. One thing led to another and I left him there in Miami. He wasn't stranded or in any sort of danger (I made sure the hotel was paid), but I did ride down with him (we had a car rented) but called my "bestie" in central Florida to come take me home two days early. At the time, I really didn't get why he was so upset I left, and maybe I still don't. My pastor talking about commitment made me think it could be possible he was upset that I didn't commit and stick it out with the relationship. I faltered on our commitment to one another. I make mistakes and sin on a regular basis. Now I know what they mean when they say " Hind sight is 20/20".
So, I cant keep calling my "Person of Interest" a "Person of Interest". Like I mentioned in a previous post he has made a nice change. I will refer to him now as : Jodi. There is nothing sexier in a man than him loving his Savior, our King.
I don't know that about Catch, I don't know anything about Catch. When I left the gym today he was leaving out also and I held the door for him. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to come home with me so Santa could put him underneath my Christmas tree. Of, course I couldn't, I wouldn't. It didn't stop me from imagining him under my tree with only a red bow and black silk pajama pants. :). I digress. I forgot to take the posters for our Christmas service at Cascades(5 more days) into the gym so I will have take it there tomorrow night (Look at me, making up excuses to go to the gym on a Friday night).
What to keep in mind for this post: the commitment. There have been times when I have not wanted to got to the gym (at least once a month). There have been nights when I have eaten so horribly, I thought I would never work it off (I learned you should not try to work out to offset what you have eaten). I also see my commitment has allowed my to be 35lbs lighter than i was six months ago;my commitment has taught me that hard work and dedication will help achieve my goals. My commitment has taught me that though I may sin and stumble, though I may make mistakes, if I remain committed. I will run the course, the journey my Savior has before me, for His glory,
As I look at her face, I am reminded of my mother-and her struggle with eating. I reminded because both women ultimately lost their battle. I pray that I can do this for my daughter. I don't talk about my eating disorder with very many people. The ones I do talk about my eating habits with understand. This struggle is far worst than drugs or alcohol. You need food to survive. This struggle is real. It saddens me that people pass judgement on overweight people. Society says also assumes so many negative things about over weight individuals: "they smell", "they are dirty", "they are all lazy"," they are dumb". When the truth is that we just dont have restraint and discipline when it comes eating habits and physical activity. You can see our struggle on the outside; where as you cant see an alcohol or pornography addiction.
Commitment. We are studying about the church at Corinth in bible study. I like the title my pastor gave "Church Gone Wild". Wednesday we came to this word: commitment. I thought about my commitment. I have now been going to the gym for almost six months. This is the longest I have continuously gone. I thought to myself if I would have quit by now I would not be where I am now. I think about my commitment to go to the gym and cook my meals (It helps that Catch was there the very first day). Now, I don't like to think of myself as a commitment-phoebe, but while my pastor was speaking on the subject my mind took a brief trip back in time (I was still listening to him though-the whole time). About seven years back I was dating this guy-at this point I would have to say it has been one of my longest lasting relationships; lasting all of six months. We took a trip down to Miami. One thing led to another and I left him there in Miami. He wasn't stranded or in any sort of danger (I made sure the hotel was paid), but I did ride down with him (we had a car rented) but called my "bestie" in central Florida to come take me home two days early. At the time, I really didn't get why he was so upset I left, and maybe I still don't. My pastor talking about commitment made me think it could be possible he was upset that I didn't commit and stick it out with the relationship. I faltered on our commitment to one another. I make mistakes and sin on a regular basis. Now I know what they mean when they say " Hind sight is 20/20".
So, I cant keep calling my "Person of Interest" a "Person of Interest". Like I mentioned in a previous post he has made a nice change. I will refer to him now as : Jodi. There is nothing sexier in a man than him loving his Savior, our King.
I don't know that about Catch, I don't know anything about Catch. When I left the gym today he was leaving out also and I held the door for him. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to come home with me so Santa could put him underneath my Christmas tree. Of, course I couldn't, I wouldn't. It didn't stop me from imagining him under my tree with only a red bow and black silk pajama pants. :). I digress. I forgot to take the posters for our Christmas service at Cascades(5 more days) into the gym so I will have take it there tomorrow night (Look at me, making up excuses to go to the gym on a Friday night).
What to keep in mind for this post: the commitment. There have been times when I have not wanted to got to the gym (at least once a month). There have been nights when I have eaten so horribly, I thought I would never work it off (I learned you should not try to work out to offset what you have eaten). I also see my commitment has allowed my to be 35lbs lighter than i was six months ago;my commitment has taught me that hard work and dedication will help achieve my goals. My commitment has taught me that though I may sin and stumble, though I may make mistakes, if I remain committed. I will run the course, the journey my Savior has before me, for His glory,
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Eternal life
I have to admit, when I first found out my church was doing this years Christmas service outside at an amphitheater-I was a little more than apprehensive. I was born and raised in Florida all my life, so I am not fond of the cold. Then as I thought about it, it was outside in a manger when our Savior was born. How appropriate would it be to hold the celebration of His birth in our newly built amphitheater. It also help that a friend of mine gave me a red wool 3/4 length coat (I love hand me downs), of which would be a great time to debut. I am getting excited about celebrating the birth of eternal life; the birth of my King Tuesday December 23 at Cascades Park
Sometimes, something as simple as a new look can change how you look to someone. My "Person of Interest" has recently changed things up-and I have to say it has made him more interesting. I will never get up the confidence to approach him or "Catch", Im just too afraid of rejection, so much so that I can live with never knowing. I figure if it is in Gods will,(God knows me) it will happen. In the mean time I cyber stalk handbags. My longest stalk: Dooney and Burke Smith Florentine bag in natural. For the last 4 years the bag has been almost $400. I could never bring myself to pay this amount for a handbag. I have seen the price a little lower in one place recently so perhaps I will get it next year. If I don't have it by March 24th, my birthday-then I think it would be the perfect birthday gift for myself. I think I will continue to search for handbags instead of looking for a love and affection from a man. A co-worker and member of my church recently gave me a very good reminder. " Dating is not a ministry", lol.
I am going to acknowledge where in my life things are stressful, so that I can proactively find a means by which to handle the stress. I hypothesize, that if I identify the stress and ways in which to mange the stress-it will give me a better approach to handling the stress than internalizing it by overeating. I have a test on Monday and a Interview on Tuesday. The interview being the most frightening of the two. I have already prayed for God's will to be done. I have put it in His hands, therefore leaving no need for me to worry.
Sometimes, something as simple as a new look can change how you look to someone. My "Person of Interest" has recently changed things up-and I have to say it has made him more interesting. I will never get up the confidence to approach him or "Catch", Im just too afraid of rejection, so much so that I can live with never knowing. I figure if it is in Gods will,(God knows me) it will happen. In the mean time I cyber stalk handbags. My longest stalk: Dooney and Burke Smith Florentine bag in natural. For the last 4 years the bag has been almost $400. I could never bring myself to pay this amount for a handbag. I have seen the price a little lower in one place recently so perhaps I will get it next year. If I don't have it by March 24th, my birthday-then I think it would be the perfect birthday gift for myself. I think I will continue to search for handbags instead of looking for a love and affection from a man. A co-worker and member of my church recently gave me a very good reminder. " Dating is not a ministry", lol.
I am going to acknowledge where in my life things are stressful, so that I can proactively find a means by which to handle the stress. I hypothesize, that if I identify the stress and ways in which to mange the stress-it will give me a better approach to handling the stress than internalizing it by overeating. I have a test on Monday and a Interview on Tuesday. The interview being the most frightening of the two. I have already prayed for God's will to be done. I have put it in His hands, therefore leaving no need for me to worry.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2New International Version (NIV)
Monday, December 1, 2014
Reason for the season
I am super excited about Christmas. I customarily spend Christmas alone-my daughter goes and stays with her father each year (I use the time to reflect). However, I'm looking forward to the celebration. You see I'm almost ashamed to say I had celebrated Christmas every year and had not fully grasp the "reason for the season". This year I am celebrating the birth of my King. I love the story of His birth and how he was born in a manger of all places. It saddens me how politics and commercialization has overshadowed and tried to put into the darkness His birth.We are asked to not acknowledge Jesus in schools and government. Every bit of who He is and what He represents is undeniably evident; His love, His joy, His mercy. I want to celebrate, jump for joy, and dance in the streets for my Savior, the King, was born.
So, I went to the gym today and of course saw "Catch". I thought when he got on that rower, I can' t take this-but I pulled it together. It got me to wondering . . . I have been officially single for some time now-I mean: not in a mutually committed relationship-do people still date? When I say "date"; I'm referring to a guy asking a lady to spend time together doing some social activity together: i.e. dinner, movie, lunch, skating, gym walk on the beach, go out dancing. Do guys buy flowers anymore? The reason I ask, because it has been years since I have been invited on a date and not to a persons residence. I think it used to be referred to as good "ole Courting". Now, I am not talking about 19 Kids and Counting courting-but modern dating. Is this still in practice? The guys I have run into, don't seem to be familiar with this concept.
I have been reading lately online more information about eating habits. You see, I am aware if you want to lose weight you have to eat within portion and exercise. This much, I know. I go to the gym as often as I can. My struggle is with eating and maintaining portions. I tend to eat quickly, not giving my stomach enough time to tell my brain "Im full, stop eating". I looked and found lots of suggestions. The three top suggestions for me and what I think I will try to make a conscious effort toward:
1. Sit down and make each meal a big deal. Don't eat while driving/ in front of TV.
2. Use my non dominant hand to eat. Put utensil down between bites.
3. Drink lots of water
For some people these simple things are like second nature, like breathing in air. For me, I ask all reading this to pray for me in these areas.
"Some days it's an inch. Some days a crawl. Some days a stumble. Some days a walk. But everyday, I move forward" -Kendrick Cole
This, is my journey. . .
So, I went to the gym today and of course saw "Catch". I thought when he got on that rower, I can' t take this-but I pulled it together. It got me to wondering . . . I have been officially single for some time now-I mean: not in a mutually committed relationship-do people still date? When I say "date"; I'm referring to a guy asking a lady to spend time together doing some social activity together: i.e. dinner, movie, lunch, skating, gym walk on the beach, go out dancing. Do guys buy flowers anymore? The reason I ask, because it has been years since I have been invited on a date and not to a persons residence. I think it used to be referred to as good "ole Courting". Now, I am not talking about 19 Kids and Counting courting-but modern dating. Is this still in practice? The guys I have run into, don't seem to be familiar with this concept.
I have been reading lately online more information about eating habits. You see, I am aware if you want to lose weight you have to eat within portion and exercise. This much, I know. I go to the gym as often as I can. My struggle is with eating and maintaining portions. I tend to eat quickly, not giving my stomach enough time to tell my brain "Im full, stop eating". I looked and found lots of suggestions. The three top suggestions for me and what I think I will try to make a conscious effort toward:
1. Sit down and make each meal a big deal. Don't eat while driving/ in front of TV.
2. Use my non dominant hand to eat. Put utensil down between bites.
3. Drink lots of water
For some people these simple things are like second nature, like breathing in air. For me, I ask all reading this to pray for me in these areas.
"Some days it's an inch. Some days a crawl. Some days a stumble. Some days a walk. But everyday, I move forward" -Kendrick Cole
This, is my journey. . .
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