Took my eyes off Him for only a moment. . .

 Many have said to me that I need to be more open or transparent, be more approachable and "put myself out there". This is not what I hear, what I hear is make myself vulnerable. Keeping my distance alleviates having to deal with "the politics".  I dislike dealing with the unpleasantness of "politics".

This week theme keeps swirling around the the idea that I need to open up and make more friends. My Pastor kicked it off by going back and reminding me of our church's core values: Connect. Grow. Serve.  I have grown immensely, and I  serve. I will admit:When it comes to the connect part-there is a major disconnect when it comes to  me.  My uncle then tells me I need to be more friendly and open. The message on his church bulletin this Sunday  was Ecclesiastes: 4:9-12 The Value of a friend. He reminded me that I need to let God's light shine through me.

It used to perplex me  whenever I heard it mentioned: No man is an island. I get it now. I need to do something  to change and to try to be more open and available.  Deep sigh. For this, I will need to go to my Savior.

I seem to have taken my eyes off my Savior.  Though it may seem like briefly, it's enough time for things to feel as though they are falling apart.  Or so the enemy will have me believe.
The plans I had for the Danial Plan study has not gone quite the way  I had anticipated.  Originally, I wanted a support group for other dealing with overeating.  I wanted to have friends to call when I was stressed about life and standing on the ledge of  Death by Chocolate (Fudge brownie wedge between two layers of chocolate cake, held together by fudge icing). I wanted someone to talk to that understood and could understand the struggle I face daily.  I wanted to tell others of my struggle and how I thought I would never get to where I am now-but I continued.

A friend of mine wanted to go to the beach baptism my church is holding, so we are making a day of it. I am excited about the beach day. I am starting to second guess the new bathing suit, though.  I don't feel comfortable where I am at this time on my journey.  I know I am not going to be comfortable if I wear it.  This is a day I am blessed to get to spend at the beach with friends and family. I want to be comfortable and enjoy the day.  I am considering giving the bathing suit to my daughter so she has one for the summer and just being comfortable.

 I get the feeling Catch would not be looking for the same type of friendship l am seeking. I have not gotten any indication Catch even wants a friend, in the sense that I am meaning. When I say friend, I mean one like Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, a friend to watch the fireworks with this year on the 4th of July .  A friend to go to the gym and work out from time to time  This has been my trepidation. I have made it a habit of playing it safe and being cautious.   I do not think Catch wants the same.
What happened to dating, or getting to know another person . spending time enjoying one another' s company? This concept seems to have become extinct with the dinosaurs.

My eyes were off of my Savior.  Though, it may have been for only a brief moment.  I was distracted long enough.   I must now re- focus and look to Jesus; you can find me at the feet of my Savior.

I love the messages on church billboards, I think of them as little messages from God. ( He will use any means possible to speak to us) This week, there was one that said: A church is a gift from God, assembly required.   How appropriate for where I am in my walk right now.








                            If you see me at they gym, this is the song playing through my earbuds:

Love this song. 

Mother's Day

There is no better feeling than being in the arms of your Savior.  This is how I have felt lately.  Its as though all this time I have been trying to fill the emptiness in my heart with everything possible. In my case its food.  Most people try and fill the hole in their heart, in their life with the things we become slaves to: food, sex, alcohol, anything that will numb the pain.  What we are looking to replace is the love our Savior-which isn't possible.
My Father is working on me.  Yes, I am for sure a work in progress. I try and stay in His word to build our relationship,

My journey has been long in my goal to lose weight.  I have talked about food and eating healthy. I have talked about my many trips to the gym.  I have always felt the underlying issue needs to be reviewed also.  The entire reason I started this blog was to journal my journey and to come up with some sort of group support.  Well, I am happy to announce I finally got up the courage and have posed a bible study or over eaters support group to my church.  It was received well.  I posed it to our women's ministry leader and she is posing starting "The Daniel Plan" bible study.  Its not exactly an over eaters support group as I had envisioned-however, it's a start. When I look back on where this journey has started and where I am now.  I cant help but look to my Lord Jesus and smile.  Thank you.


My Mother's day was really good.  I went and visited my mother's grave-which was hard.  It also helped remember to continue to work toward progress.  

I remember where I have come from, where this journey has brought me from:

It is always nice to reflect on the journey.  This also gives me motivation to continue forward. 

My daughter usually spends the summer with her father.  I am leery of letting her go.  You see my ex-husband/ her father, does not eat what we eat.  He doesn't stay behind her about getting physical activity each day, and she ends up gaining weight. It would be nice if I could get get her into a summer camp that would keep her active during the day.  When I was younger it was NYSP: ( National Youth Sports Program).  We would do sports all day during the summer.  A summer program that does skating one day, swimming another day, field sports.  This would be something great for fitness and training clubs to start.  Kicked off by a summer BBQ.  I love BBQs and potlucks-they are just so family and homey. 

I had really been motivated to stay discipline for this last month.  My church holds a Beach baptism every year at St. George island.  I was looking forward because this is how I have been gauging my weight loss. I bought a two-piece bathing suit.  I said two piece-not bikini.  Every couple of weeks I would try it on to see if it fit any better.  I found out last week this year the baptism was going to be on June 6.  I was stoked and pumped things into high gear. My bubble was later burst when by daughter who was baptized at  last year Beach baptism, said she didn't want to go.  

I  have been going to my church  for over a decade and could not think of any place else to call home. There is a guy in church that has peaked my interest. I have a horrible track record with relationships.   It is going to take  a real man of God with some patience to get through to my heart. I don't want to possibly mess up being able to call my church home.  My church is where I lay at the feet of my Savior.   It is where I have laughed; where I have cried. I would be so lost. Calvary is where I take refuge from the world. I will keep praying about it. 

Catch was at the gym today.  He is wearing this new sexy vibrant blue.  Lord, I saw him on the pull up bar,  I am just going to tell you guys-anything on the pull up  bar is sexy. 

Well, I get I will set my goal on being two-piece bathing suit ready for the trip to NY at the end of the summer 8/8/2015.