Everyone should have an amazing birthday. I wanted the day to be perfect, since it is his birthday. Woken with a smile from being showered with kisses, I imagined the day starting with his favorite breakfast. Off to the office, for light work and checking in only to play hooky and take the day off. I don't know how his day went, will probably never know, so I prayed. I prayed for him, since the day I imagined was not going to happen. The day I imagined for him was great, professional message after brunch, stroll on the beach in the afternoon followed by a night of drinks with friends. I wanted his day to be great, even if it was not with me. I ask God to help me, help me stay focused on Him and not this guy. It is obvious by this post, I am struggling with focusing. I want these great things to happen, but I also want to keep my distance and keep this wall up to be safe.
My birthday weekend last week was wonderful. I find myself smiling like I am on cloud 9 when I think about it. Who would have thought a simple game of chess would make my week. I lost by the way, but it was still so much fun. Chess requires my brain to think in a way it is not used to thinking. I like this change up.
I am working on trusting in God each and every day, remembering to look to Him for answers. I am a work in progress, I guess you could say unfinished.
