Different

To day was eye opening. I was ask what I wanted to do.  Before I answered, he said "You will only be happy if you are productive and you are paid enough".  It dawned on me, feeling productive does make me happy.

God help me. . . .

God Help Me

There is a wrestling in my heart and my mind
A disturbance and a tension I cannot seem to drive 
And if I'm honest, there's quite a bit of fear 
To sit here in this silence and really hear You 

What will you ask of me?
Will I listen to your voice when you speak?

Help me to move
Help me to see
Help me to do whatever you would ask of me 
Help me to go 
(Or) God help me to stay 

I'm feeling so alone here 
And I know that You're faithful But I can barely breathe 
God help me

Sometimes things, they are black and white
But sometimes they are not and it leaves us torn inside
And in the middle we are left to wonder
Who we are, what You want and where we're going
Oh such a mystery
I don't always understand
But I believe

Help me to move
Help me to see
Help me to do whatever you would ask of me 
Help me to go 
(Or) God help me to stay 
I'm feeling so alone here 
And I know that You're faithful But I can barely breathe 
God help me

I don't know the future
It's one day at a time 
But I know I'll be okay with Your Hand holding mine 
So take all my resistance 
Oh God I need Your grace 
One step and then the other Show me the way 
Show me the way

Help me to move
Help me to see
Help me to do whatever you would ask of me 
Help me to go 
(Or) God help me to stay 
I'm feeling so alone here 
And I know that You're faithful But I can barely breathe 
God help me

-Plumb

I am in every word of this song right now. . . God help me. 

Just hold on, and I'll find you

I am so tired.  I'm tired of feeling tired and tired of being lonely.

I'll Find You

Lecrae

Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But when you got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you

I'm hanging on by a thread
And all I'm clinging to is prayers
And every breath is like a battle
I feel like I ain't come prepared
And death's knockin' on the front door
Pain's creepin' through the back
Fear's crawlin' through the windows
Waiting for em' to attack
They say "Don't get bitter, get better"
I'm working on switching them letters
But tell God I'mma need a whole lotta hope keeping it together
I'm smilin' in everyone's face
I'm cryin' whenever they leave the room
They don't know the battle I face
They don't understand what I'm going through
The world tryna play with my soul
I'm just tryna find where to go
I'm tryna remember the way
I'm tryna get back to my home
But, I can't do this on my own
That's why I'm just trusting in you
Cuz' I don't know where else to go
And, I don't know what else to do

Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you
They say fear haunts
And pain hates
I say pain strengthens
And fear drives faith
And I don't know all of the outcomes
Don't know what happens tomorrow
But when that ocean of doubt comes
Don't let me drown in my sorrow
And don't let me stay at the bottom
I feel like this hole is too deep to climb
I've been lookin' for a way out
But I'll settle for a peace of mind
Picking up the pieces of my life and hopin' that I'll put together something right
Tell me all I got is all I need
Tell me you gon' help me stand and fight

The world trying to play with my soul
I'm just tryna find where to go
I'm trying to remember the way
I'm trying to get back to my home
But, I can't do this on my own
That's why I'm just trusting in you
Cuz' I don't know where else to go
And, I don't know what else to do
No don't let the fear
Make you feel like you can't fight this on your own
You know I, I'll be there for you no matter where you go
You'll never be alone, no

Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you

Songwriters: Daniel Majic / John Mitchell / Justin Franks / Lecrae Moore / Natalie Sims / Sasha Sloan / Victoria Kelly

Broken Things

 I presented a community service project today and I am elated.   I got everything accomplished and still remained flexible and open.  Being someone that is very focused and driven, any deviations are unlikely without extensive analysis.  I started to get nervous and the anxiety started to roll in at the last minute. However,  I worked through it and  was grateful for the opportunity in the end.  To say I have a lot on my plate right now is a gross understatement. Recently, I have attained more responsibilities while making major changes to my current responsibilities. Moving forward, I think I will be using more of this "Focused and Flexible" approach.