I am in my feelings again. I have been working hard to stay on my grind, in order to avoid getting in my feelings. Things just seem to not be going the way I want them to go. I can't give up, though. I was brought up to never say "can't", I think my mom would be okay with it used this way. To make sure my mom lives on, I won't give up. Mother's Day this year was a little rough, but it was a good weekend. I got to "Live Service Out" and volunteer, I was blessed to be able to watch Shakespeare's "As You Like It" in the park underneath the stars with my daughter, and I visited my mom's grave site and planted flowers. I am blessed and grateful that my Lord and King has taken care of all my needs.
It is a nice day out, which makes a good excuse to BBQ on the grill. I have a wine cooler that has had my name on it for about three weeks now. Last week, I came across a recipe online. There are a couple of my favorite super foods thrown together. The recipe is Warm Roasted Eggplant, Mushroom & Kale Salad:
This is awesome with some baked chicken or salmon and good for you. Warning: If you are not used to eating these foods, though they are good for you, your stomach isn't really gonna know what is happening and may react accordingly.
I tend to be a minimalist when it comes to social interactions and developing relationships.
Recently the realization came to me, I love being of service, and problem solve, and will not run from a challenge. On the other hand I have a hard time trusting others. What this translates as I will be there to help or when there is a problem and support is needed; but I am off to something else once the issue is resolved. Essentially, I would be available when needed, but would rather return to doing task or taking actions instead of getting to know or build relationships.
I try to get out weekly and be social. Today after my weekly outing, I felt even more like wanting to disconnect. I want to retreat, to me alone and revert back to comfort zone. In my head, I am in my feelings. I want to stop going to these weekly social outings and go at this alone.
I am not going to give up, I can't give up. My progress may slow, but I am still moving forward.
My situation seems rough at times, my journey feels so long. I look to God, and put my trust in Him. He is my strength and grace, I am most thankful for His love. I find my hope in Him.
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