. . . And then I think that maybe I was designed to be alone.

It has been one of those days.  I managed to hold it together for most of the day, but when I got home, I fell at the feet of the Savior and let go. I heard a song and realized how much I miss my mom. I realized  how much I missed having someone to talk to that I can trust.
I had dinner,  the dishes were done, kitchen was closed. It is a good thing, my daughter turned off the lights in the kitchen when she finished the dishes. In the past, I would made a bee line for the fridge to eat my sorrows. Instead, I loathed the voice in the back of my mind that said "Go to the gym".  No lie, that voice was pissing me off. You know you will feel better, what a great way to relieve stress.  This is what I said to myself as I put on my shoes and went to the car.  Once I made it there, there were of course 50 million people.  For an introvert like me this is a nightmare.  The closer I got to the door, the more people I saw, the more I wanted to turn around.  I actually did turn around to get my chap stick, but I did end up going inside and working out.  I got a good sweat in and felt much better, I thought to myself, the only thing that could make this better would a hydro message (this is a message with water jets).  I pay extra for my membership to be able to have unlimited messages.  Well, someone else had the same great idea and signed up first.  The only problem was today the second hydro message bed was out of operation. The guy didn't even check to seek if the person that signed up first has a membership that covers use of the hydro message bed.  If the person that signed up had a Black Card membership that covered the hydro message, I wouldn't care. If the second hydro message bed was not out of operation, I wouldn't care.  Disappointment took over and I just left.  As I left I thought to myself, I should write a letter to the Manager or Corporate office  expressing my letdown.
My 36th birthday is this Friday. I am not where I want to be in life, I am where God wants me to be.  I will trust in Him and  look forward to thanking my God for all my blessings.