Unfortunately, during the storm yesterday my laptop seems to have died. I'm saying this because it will probably be a couple months before I get a replacement. I'm writing this message from my phone- which doesn't work so well when posting longer blogs. In essence I will be working on my journey, and won't be posting for a while.
The last message my pastor gave was on "Beware of Worry". This was the right message at the right time. Not going to worry, but be obedient to my Savior and King, as I already know this is for His glory.
I seem to have gotten a song stuck in my head. The song is by Boys Like Girls, its called Be Your Everything.
Thanks for reading, hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Dominique Lanoise.
Dominique Lanoise. I watched several weight loss documentaries last year. The one with the biggest impact on me was the one about Dominique. She moved here from the Dominican Republic. As I watch her story, my heart ached for her -and her daughters. She exhibited classic symptoms of overeating disorders. She often exemplified agitation , emotional highs and lows and a disconnect or unawareness of her internalization. Her story said that she been put in a facility that could monitor her intake and activity, but she left. Dominique left this world and traveled to meet our Savior several months after leaving. Dominique Lanoise
As I look at her face, I am reminded of my mother-and her struggle with eating. I reminded because both women ultimately lost their battle. I pray that I can do this for my daughter. I don't talk about my eating disorder with very many people. The ones I do talk about my eating habits with understand. This struggle is far worst than drugs or alcohol. You need food to survive. This struggle is real. It saddens me that people pass judgement on overweight people. Society says also assumes so many negative things about over weight individuals: "they smell", "they are dirty", "they are all lazy"," they are dumb". When the truth is that we just dont have restraint and discipline when it comes eating habits and physical activity. You can see our struggle on the outside; where as you cant see an alcohol or pornography addiction.
Commitment. We are studying about the church at Corinth in bible study. I like the title my pastor gave "Church Gone Wild". Wednesday we came to this word: commitment. I thought about my commitment. I have now been going to the gym for almost six months. This is the longest I have continuously gone. I thought to myself if I would have quit by now I would not be where I am now. I think about my commitment to go to the gym and cook my meals (It helps that Catch was there the very first day). Now, I don't like to think of myself as a commitment-phoebe, but while my pastor was speaking on the subject my mind took a brief trip back in time (I was still listening to him though-the whole time). About seven years back I was dating this guy-at this point I would have to say it has been one of my longest lasting relationships; lasting all of six months. We took a trip down to Miami. One thing led to another and I left him there in Miami. He wasn't stranded or in any sort of danger (I made sure the hotel was paid), but I did ride down with him (we had a car rented) but called my "bestie" in central Florida to come take me home two days early. At the time, I really didn't get why he was so upset I left, and maybe I still don't. My pastor talking about commitment made me think it could be possible he was upset that I didn't commit and stick it out with the relationship. I faltered on our commitment to one another. I make mistakes and sin on a regular basis. Now I know what they mean when they say " Hind sight is 20/20".
So, I cant keep calling my "Person of Interest" a "Person of Interest". Like I mentioned in a previous post he has made a nice change. I will refer to him now as : Jodi. There is nothing sexier in a man than him loving his Savior, our King.
I don't know that about Catch, I don't know anything about Catch. When I left the gym today he was leaving out also and I held the door for him. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to come home with me so Santa could put him underneath my Christmas tree. Of, course I couldn't, I wouldn't. It didn't stop me from imagining him under my tree with only a red bow and black silk pajama pants. :). I digress. I forgot to take the posters for our Christmas service at Cascades(5 more days) into the gym so I will have take it there tomorrow night (Look at me, making up excuses to go to the gym on a Friday night).
What to keep in mind for this post: the commitment. There have been times when I have not wanted to got to the gym (at least once a month). There have been nights when I have eaten so horribly, I thought I would never work it off (I learned you should not try to work out to offset what you have eaten). I also see my commitment has allowed my to be 35lbs lighter than i was six months ago;my commitment has taught me that hard work and dedication will help achieve my goals. My commitment has taught me that though I may sin and stumble, though I may make mistakes, if I remain committed. I will run the course, the journey my Savior has before me, for His glory,
As I look at her face, I am reminded of my mother-and her struggle with eating. I reminded because both women ultimately lost their battle. I pray that I can do this for my daughter. I don't talk about my eating disorder with very many people. The ones I do talk about my eating habits with understand. This struggle is far worst than drugs or alcohol. You need food to survive. This struggle is real. It saddens me that people pass judgement on overweight people. Society says also assumes so many negative things about over weight individuals: "they smell", "they are dirty", "they are all lazy"," they are dumb". When the truth is that we just dont have restraint and discipline when it comes eating habits and physical activity. You can see our struggle on the outside; where as you cant see an alcohol or pornography addiction.
Commitment. We are studying about the church at Corinth in bible study. I like the title my pastor gave "Church Gone Wild". Wednesday we came to this word: commitment. I thought about my commitment. I have now been going to the gym for almost six months. This is the longest I have continuously gone. I thought to myself if I would have quit by now I would not be where I am now. I think about my commitment to go to the gym and cook my meals (It helps that Catch was there the very first day). Now, I don't like to think of myself as a commitment-phoebe, but while my pastor was speaking on the subject my mind took a brief trip back in time (I was still listening to him though-the whole time). About seven years back I was dating this guy-at this point I would have to say it has been one of my longest lasting relationships; lasting all of six months. We took a trip down to Miami. One thing led to another and I left him there in Miami. He wasn't stranded or in any sort of danger (I made sure the hotel was paid), but I did ride down with him (we had a car rented) but called my "bestie" in central Florida to come take me home two days early. At the time, I really didn't get why he was so upset I left, and maybe I still don't. My pastor talking about commitment made me think it could be possible he was upset that I didn't commit and stick it out with the relationship. I faltered on our commitment to one another. I make mistakes and sin on a regular basis. Now I know what they mean when they say " Hind sight is 20/20".
So, I cant keep calling my "Person of Interest" a "Person of Interest". Like I mentioned in a previous post he has made a nice change. I will refer to him now as : Jodi. There is nothing sexier in a man than him loving his Savior, our King.
I don't know that about Catch, I don't know anything about Catch. When I left the gym today he was leaving out also and I held the door for him. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to come home with me so Santa could put him underneath my Christmas tree. Of, course I couldn't, I wouldn't. It didn't stop me from imagining him under my tree with only a red bow and black silk pajama pants. :). I digress. I forgot to take the posters for our Christmas service at Cascades(5 more days) into the gym so I will have take it there tomorrow night (Look at me, making up excuses to go to the gym on a Friday night).
What to keep in mind for this post: the commitment. There have been times when I have not wanted to got to the gym (at least once a month). There have been nights when I have eaten so horribly, I thought I would never work it off (I learned you should not try to work out to offset what you have eaten). I also see my commitment has allowed my to be 35lbs lighter than i was six months ago;my commitment has taught me that hard work and dedication will help achieve my goals. My commitment has taught me that though I may sin and stumble, though I may make mistakes, if I remain committed. I will run the course, the journey my Savior has before me, for His glory,
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Eternal life
I have to admit, when I first found out my church was doing this years Christmas service outside at an amphitheater-I was a little more than apprehensive. I was born and raised in Florida all my life, so I am not fond of the cold. Then as I thought about it, it was outside in a manger when our Savior was born. How appropriate would it be to hold the celebration of His birth in our newly built amphitheater. It also help that a friend of mine gave me a red wool 3/4 length coat (I love hand me downs), of which would be a great time to debut. I am getting excited about celebrating the birth of eternal life; the birth of my King Tuesday December 23 at Cascades Park
Sometimes, something as simple as a new look can change how you look to someone. My "Person of Interest" has recently changed things up-and I have to say it has made him more interesting. I will never get up the confidence to approach him or "Catch", Im just too afraid of rejection, so much so that I can live with never knowing. I figure if it is in Gods will,(God knows me) it will happen. In the mean time I cyber stalk handbags. My longest stalk: Dooney and Burke Smith Florentine bag in natural. For the last 4 years the bag has been almost $400. I could never bring myself to pay this amount for a handbag. I have seen the price a little lower in one place recently so perhaps I will get it next year. If I don't have it by March 24th, my birthday-then I think it would be the perfect birthday gift for myself. I think I will continue to search for handbags instead of looking for a love and affection from a man. A co-worker and member of my church recently gave me a very good reminder. " Dating is not a ministry", lol.
I am going to acknowledge where in my life things are stressful, so that I can proactively find a means by which to handle the stress. I hypothesize, that if I identify the stress and ways in which to mange the stress-it will give me a better approach to handling the stress than internalizing it by overeating. I have a test on Monday and a Interview on Tuesday. The interview being the most frightening of the two. I have already prayed for God's will to be done. I have put it in His hands, therefore leaving no need for me to worry.
Sometimes, something as simple as a new look can change how you look to someone. My "Person of Interest" has recently changed things up-and I have to say it has made him more interesting. I will never get up the confidence to approach him or "Catch", Im just too afraid of rejection, so much so that I can live with never knowing. I figure if it is in Gods will,(God knows me) it will happen. In the mean time I cyber stalk handbags. My longest stalk: Dooney and Burke Smith Florentine bag in natural. For the last 4 years the bag has been almost $400. I could never bring myself to pay this amount for a handbag. I have seen the price a little lower in one place recently so perhaps I will get it next year. If I don't have it by March 24th, my birthday-then I think it would be the perfect birthday gift for myself. I think I will continue to search for handbags instead of looking for a love and affection from a man. A co-worker and member of my church recently gave me a very good reminder. " Dating is not a ministry", lol.
I am going to acknowledge where in my life things are stressful, so that I can proactively find a means by which to handle the stress. I hypothesize, that if I identify the stress and ways in which to mange the stress-it will give me a better approach to handling the stress than internalizing it by overeating. I have a test on Monday and a Interview on Tuesday. The interview being the most frightening of the two. I have already prayed for God's will to be done. I have put it in His hands, therefore leaving no need for me to worry.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2New International Version (NIV)
Monday, December 1, 2014
Reason for the season
I am super excited about Christmas. I customarily spend Christmas alone-my daughter goes and stays with her father each year (I use the time to reflect). However, I'm looking forward to the celebration. You see I'm almost ashamed to say I had celebrated Christmas every year and had not fully grasp the "reason for the season". This year I am celebrating the birth of my King. I love the story of His birth and how he was born in a manger of all places. It saddens me how politics and commercialization has overshadowed and tried to put into the darkness His birth.We are asked to not acknowledge Jesus in schools and government. Every bit of who He is and what He represents is undeniably evident; His love, His joy, His mercy. I want to celebrate, jump for joy, and dance in the streets for my Savior, the King, was born.
So, I went to the gym today and of course saw "Catch". I thought when he got on that rower, I can' t take this-but I pulled it together. It got me to wondering . . . I have been officially single for some time now-I mean: not in a mutually committed relationship-do people still date? When I say "date"; I'm referring to a guy asking a lady to spend time together doing some social activity together: i.e. dinner, movie, lunch, skating, gym walk on the beach, go out dancing. Do guys buy flowers anymore? The reason I ask, because it has been years since I have been invited on a date and not to a persons residence. I think it used to be referred to as good "ole Courting". Now, I am not talking about 19 Kids and Counting courting-but modern dating. Is this still in practice? The guys I have run into, don't seem to be familiar with this concept.
I have been reading lately online more information about eating habits. You see, I am aware if you want to lose weight you have to eat within portion and exercise. This much, I know. I go to the gym as often as I can. My struggle is with eating and maintaining portions. I tend to eat quickly, not giving my stomach enough time to tell my brain "Im full, stop eating". I looked and found lots of suggestions. The three top suggestions for me and what I think I will try to make a conscious effort toward:
1. Sit down and make each meal a big deal. Don't eat while driving/ in front of TV.
2. Use my non dominant hand to eat. Put utensil down between bites.
3. Drink lots of water
For some people these simple things are like second nature, like breathing in air. For me, I ask all reading this to pray for me in these areas.
"Some days it's an inch. Some days a crawl. Some days a stumble. Some days a walk. But everyday, I move forward" -Kendrick Cole
This, is my journey. . .
So, I went to the gym today and of course saw "Catch". I thought when he got on that rower, I can' t take this-but I pulled it together. It got me to wondering . . . I have been officially single for some time now-I mean: not in a mutually committed relationship-do people still date? When I say "date"; I'm referring to a guy asking a lady to spend time together doing some social activity together: i.e. dinner, movie, lunch, skating, gym walk on the beach, go out dancing. Do guys buy flowers anymore? The reason I ask, because it has been years since I have been invited on a date and not to a persons residence. I think it used to be referred to as good "ole Courting". Now, I am not talking about 19 Kids and Counting courting-but modern dating. Is this still in practice? The guys I have run into, don't seem to be familiar with this concept.
I have been reading lately online more information about eating habits. You see, I am aware if you want to lose weight you have to eat within portion and exercise. This much, I know. I go to the gym as often as I can. My struggle is with eating and maintaining portions. I tend to eat quickly, not giving my stomach enough time to tell my brain "Im full, stop eating". I looked and found lots of suggestions. The three top suggestions for me and what I think I will try to make a conscious effort toward:
1. Sit down and make each meal a big deal. Don't eat while driving/ in front of TV.
2. Use my non dominant hand to eat. Put utensil down between bites.
3. Drink lots of water
For some people these simple things are like second nature, like breathing in air. For me, I ask all reading this to pray for me in these areas.
"Some days it's an inch. Some days a crawl. Some days a stumble. Some days a walk. But everyday, I move forward" -Kendrick Cole
This, is my journey. . .
Thursday, November 20, 2014
I am trying. . .
It has been a while since I have posted anything. There have been lots of changes in my life. Changed jobs, moved and I think I even have different vehicle since the last time I have posted. One thing has not changed-my Savior. Jesus has handled and dealt with me in the way only He can. I thank Him and give the highest praise and glory to my Savior. I just finished a women's bible study of the books of: James and Jude. Amazing, I definitely learned to inwardly evaluate myself and reflect on the things in which I need help from God to work on.
One thing I continue to struggle with is my weight. I have to say even this part of my life has had some change. I started going to the gym in July and I think it was about 6 weeks later I began using the My Fitness Pal app on my phone. I weigh in (at the only scale; in the middle of the gym!) about every six weeks. So far I have lost almost 30 lbs. You cant see it, but there was a long pause there. I sweated my but off-literally for those almost 30 lbs. I have mixed feels about these almost 30 lbs. On the one hand it is an accomplishment-almost 30 lbs in 5 months. This allows me to set a pace for reasonable goals. I am hoping to lose 30 more by first of the year and change my front number. On the other hand, I still feel like I should have lost way more than "almost 30" for the amount of sweating I did. I have always know the way to lose weight is eating right and exercise. I started out doing 30 minutes of cardio and have increased it by 15 minutes every six weeks; and try to include 20-30 minutes of strength training. The My Fitness Pal app really helps me keep track of the amount of calories I am consuming. I struggle with my eating habits, I am an emotional and stress eater. I find self reverting back to old habits sometimes-I know I'm not perfect (contrary to popular belief: I think I am perfect.) . The two of these together help me to become more aware of the amount of calories I am taking in, and the amount being burned off. There are days I don't want to go to the gym, days I have to visualize myself going so I will actually get up and go. I have to say; of all the times I didn't want to go, but have gone ahead and gone; I have never regretted going. . .I a trying.
Another reason I don't regret going is my " Gym-EyeCandy-Crush", I call him " Catch". I call him Catch because the only thing I know about him is I am not the only one watching him; and he reminds me of the Jennifer Lopez's love interest in the movie Angel Eyes-his name was Catch (yes, I am a sickeningly hopeless romantic). I would of course never get up the nerve to say something to him-but seeing him workout is added motivation for me to go to the gym. He reminds me of a cross between a Greek statue and one of the guys from the movie "The 300". You should see him on the rowing machine. . . I digress. I have another guy of interest in my life; but the extent is just that : person of interest, at this time.
I love the holidays and it seems (and I say this shamefully) I finally realize the reason for the season. This is the celebration of the birth of my Savior, my King. I realized the gifts given to children was a reflection of the gifts the wise-men gave. I really like the Thanksgiving also, and it just needs two key elements: family/friends and food. It is a hard time for me because this is when I miss my mom the most-. Thanksgiving runs in strong with Christmas as my favorite because its not so commercialized; people tend to give and be grateful.
I have rambled on about a lot of change in my life. I want it know I am thankful for the things Jesus has done in my life, what he currently has His hands on in my life and the doors He will open. To God be the glory.
One thing I continue to struggle with is my weight. I have to say even this part of my life has had some change. I started going to the gym in July and I think it was about 6 weeks later I began using the My Fitness Pal app on my phone. I weigh in (at the only scale; in the middle of the gym!) about every six weeks. So far I have lost almost 30 lbs. You cant see it, but there was a long pause there. I sweated my but off-literally for those almost 30 lbs. I have mixed feels about these almost 30 lbs. On the one hand it is an accomplishment-almost 30 lbs in 5 months. This allows me to set a pace for reasonable goals. I am hoping to lose 30 more by first of the year and change my front number. On the other hand, I still feel like I should have lost way more than "almost 30" for the amount of sweating I did. I have always know the way to lose weight is eating right and exercise. I started out doing 30 minutes of cardio and have increased it by 15 minutes every six weeks; and try to include 20-30 minutes of strength training. The My Fitness Pal app really helps me keep track of the amount of calories I am consuming. I struggle with my eating habits, I am an emotional and stress eater. I find self reverting back to old habits sometimes-I know I'm not perfect (contrary to popular belief: I think I am perfect.) . The two of these together help me to become more aware of the amount of calories I am taking in, and the amount being burned off. There are days I don't want to go to the gym, days I have to visualize myself going so I will actually get up and go. I have to say; of all the times I didn't want to go, but have gone ahead and gone; I have never regretted going. . .I a trying.
Another reason I don't regret going is my " Gym-EyeCandy-Crush", I call him " Catch". I call him Catch because the only thing I know about him is I am not the only one watching him; and he reminds me of the Jennifer Lopez's love interest in the movie Angel Eyes-his name was Catch (yes, I am a sickeningly hopeless romantic). I would of course never get up the nerve to say something to him-but seeing him workout is added motivation for me to go to the gym. He reminds me of a cross between a Greek statue and one of the guys from the movie "The 300". You should see him on the rowing machine. . . I digress. I have another guy of interest in my life; but the extent is just that : person of interest, at this time.
I love the holidays and it seems (and I say this shamefully) I finally realize the reason for the season. This is the celebration of the birth of my Savior, my King. I realized the gifts given to children was a reflection of the gifts the wise-men gave. I really like the Thanksgiving also, and it just needs two key elements: family/friends and food. It is a hard time for me because this is when I miss my mom the most-. Thanksgiving runs in strong with Christmas as my favorite because its not so commercialized; people tend to give and be grateful.
I have rambled on about a lot of change in my life. I want it know I am thankful for the things Jesus has done in my life, what he currently has His hands on in my life and the doors He will open. To God be the glory.
Monday, September 2, 2013
How To Be Slim - BBC
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Fast food demons; and no stretching nightmares
Hi,
I'm back! At the urging of my close friend Charlena, I am posting again.
OK, since my last post a lot has gone one and I have figured out a few things that have helped me out on my weight loss journey. I lost 3 lbs. I wish there was one of those little "raise the roof" smileys, I could really use one right here. No matter though, you get the point. Though it is a small (more along the line of microscopic) drop in the bucket-it is a drop in the bucket and as we all know any drop will cause a ripple. I have figured some things out here recently that I hope you too will find beneficial. Actually they are some rules or more so guidelines for myself. The first one I would like to address is the fast food industry. When I tell you it is a dieters nightmare, i'm not exaggerating. Drive-threws and restaurants on every corner, and we wont get into how much big companies shell out in marketing. A while back one of the (I wont mention any specific company) taco companies came out with a new flavor taco shell and I was rather excited to try this new amazing taco shell, until I tried it. By the way it was everything the advertisements said it would be-probably even more. Half way through I remembered why I stopped eating the regular tacos. I don't like crunchy tacos-never have. I chalked this momentary laps of taco judgement up to advertising and marketing. I had been seeing commercials at least once a day filling my head with thoughts of cheesy goodness I was missing in this taco nation. Another example is the buffet. Chinese buffets used to be one of my favorite and I used to work near a location that only charged $5.99 for lunch and they put out fresh food just as I was getting off work. Another dine out buffet restaurant has gotten so ridiculous with their prices it is unreal. Why is a buffet $12.99 (not including a drink) when the most an average adult can eat is two plates. Needless to say it is clear how they are staying in business. The final reason I arrived at the first of my new guidelines for myself was because of the simple fact that I can make anything mass produced by a fast food chain myself at home (and I can make it the way I like-no ketchup ketchup). There is a international burger chain that recently started making my favorite iced hazelnut coffee. The only problem was all the establishment didn't make it the same. Some would use too much creamer (so the coffee was weak), also they used dairy based creamer instead of soy or almond milk (I stopped drinking cow's milk a few years back because I thought it was ridiculous to drink milk from another species-but i will leave that argument for another blog post), and I didn't like having to rely on the cashier to provide Splenda instead of processed sugar. Since I wasn't getting what I wanted despite paying for what I wanted I decided to move to a larger coffee chain, which worked out for a while. I got the type of creamer I wanted, the amount of shots I wanted (after paying extra of course) and I got it with Splenda instead of sugar. However, it quickly became apparent that I would not be able to keep it up for very long because one iced coffee would come to almost $7. I learned to make two large pots of a common Cuban style espresso coffee and refrigerate, purchased the big box of Splenda, and bought sugar free hazelnut creamer. Once I had gotten the idea in my head; I ran with it. I can make anything at home; pasta (like at your favorite Italian restaurant-but with wheat pasta and ground turkey instead of beef), turkey burgers on wheat buns, and I could easily substitute broccoli for the greasy, salt drenched fries (It was funny today I was in the above mentioned burger chain getting filter water and ice from their fountain and I heard someone order fries with no salt. I chuckled to myself, its still deep fried in grease). Fast food has far worse health benefits than nutritional value-so I have banned them. New rule number one: No fast food-I can make whatever I want at home and much healthier.
My second new rule has to do with working out. I used to try my hardest and push myself when it came to working out-which I still try to surpass my personal best. However, I did not pay attention to how important it was to stretch after workouts. I would wonder why I was able to do 25 squats with no problem but could not sit down on the toilet the next day without groaning. I never stretched.
"Delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) is now understood to be caused by microfractures in the muscle cells themselves. This happens when you do some activity that your muscles aren’t used to doing or do it in a much more strenuous way than they are used to. Caused by ultrastructural disruptions of myofilaments, particularly with the z-disk and with damage to the muscle’s connective tissues."
I learned my lesson, I still get a little sore, however it is much more manageable.
I have started working out more often as well. Being the size I am-depression is something very real in my life and with the added stress of life changes it has become like an unwanted house guest. The only way I have found that I can get rid of it is to work out. I look at my elliptical cross trainer in my living room sometimes and I think "I really hate you right now"; I know that it is a lot of the depression talking. When I realize this negativity is creeping in I realize there is one good way to combat this-(because perusing or grazing the fridge is not a good option) it is to work out. Once I had tried it a couple of times I remembered when you workout endorphins are released-which is what depression is-decrease in endorphins. I would like to think I have come up with the cure for depression (which doesn't result in a commercial on late night television stating if you have taken these drugs call a lawyer), but I know I haven't.
What I do know is I am going to keep trying, I going to continue to give this my best. I'm not perfect and I'm going to have some short comings, but hopefully I will learn from then and my battle with obesity will become a inspiration to someone else to not give up but to push on for the greater good.
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end” - Ursula K. LeGuin
“Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey.” - Alex Noble
I'm back! At the urging of my close friend Charlena, I am posting again.
OK, since my last post a lot has gone one and I have figured out a few things that have helped me out on my weight loss journey. I lost 3 lbs. I wish there was one of those little "raise the roof" smileys, I could really use one right here. No matter though, you get the point. Though it is a small (more along the line of microscopic) drop in the bucket-it is a drop in the bucket and as we all know any drop will cause a ripple. I have figured some things out here recently that I hope you too will find beneficial. Actually they are some rules or more so guidelines for myself. The first one I would like to address is the fast food industry. When I tell you it is a dieters nightmare, i'm not exaggerating. Drive-threws and restaurants on every corner, and we wont get into how much big companies shell out in marketing. A while back one of the (I wont mention any specific company) taco companies came out with a new flavor taco shell and I was rather excited to try this new amazing taco shell, until I tried it. By the way it was everything the advertisements said it would be-probably even more. Half way through I remembered why I stopped eating the regular tacos. I don't like crunchy tacos-never have. I chalked this momentary laps of taco judgement up to advertising and marketing. I had been seeing commercials at least once a day filling my head with thoughts of cheesy goodness I was missing in this taco nation. Another example is the buffet. Chinese buffets used to be one of my favorite and I used to work near a location that only charged $5.99 for lunch and they put out fresh food just as I was getting off work. Another dine out buffet restaurant has gotten so ridiculous with their prices it is unreal. Why is a buffet $12.99 (not including a drink) when the most an average adult can eat is two plates. Needless to say it is clear how they are staying in business. The final reason I arrived at the first of my new guidelines for myself was because of the simple fact that I can make anything mass produced by a fast food chain myself at home (and I can make it the way I like-no ketchup ketchup). There is a international burger chain that recently started making my favorite iced hazelnut coffee. The only problem was all the establishment didn't make it the same. Some would use too much creamer (so the coffee was weak), also they used dairy based creamer instead of soy or almond milk (I stopped drinking cow's milk a few years back because I thought it was ridiculous to drink milk from another species-but i will leave that argument for another blog post), and I didn't like having to rely on the cashier to provide Splenda instead of processed sugar. Since I wasn't getting what I wanted despite paying for what I wanted I decided to move to a larger coffee chain, which worked out for a while. I got the type of creamer I wanted, the amount of shots I wanted (after paying extra of course) and I got it with Splenda instead of sugar. However, it quickly became apparent that I would not be able to keep it up for very long because one iced coffee would come to almost $7. I learned to make two large pots of a common Cuban style espresso coffee and refrigerate, purchased the big box of Splenda, and bought sugar free hazelnut creamer. Once I had gotten the idea in my head; I ran with it. I can make anything at home; pasta (like at your favorite Italian restaurant-but with wheat pasta and ground turkey instead of beef), turkey burgers on wheat buns, and I could easily substitute broccoli for the greasy, salt drenched fries (It was funny today I was in the above mentioned burger chain getting filter water and ice from their fountain and I heard someone order fries with no salt. I chuckled to myself, its still deep fried in grease). Fast food has far worse health benefits than nutritional value-so I have banned them. New rule number one: No fast food-I can make whatever I want at home and much healthier.
My second new rule has to do with working out. I used to try my hardest and push myself when it came to working out-which I still try to surpass my personal best. However, I did not pay attention to how important it was to stretch after workouts. I would wonder why I was able to do 25 squats with no problem but could not sit down on the toilet the next day without groaning. I never stretched.
"Delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) is now understood to be caused by microfractures in the muscle cells themselves. This happens when you do some activity that your muscles aren’t used to doing or do it in a much more strenuous way than they are used to. Caused by ultrastructural disruptions of myofilaments, particularly with the z-disk and with damage to the muscle’s connective tissues."
I learned my lesson, I still get a little sore, however it is much more manageable.
I have started working out more often as well. Being the size I am-depression is something very real in my life and with the added stress of life changes it has become like an unwanted house guest. The only way I have found that I can get rid of it is to work out. I look at my elliptical cross trainer in my living room sometimes and I think "I really hate you right now"; I know that it is a lot of the depression talking. When I realize this negativity is creeping in I realize there is one good way to combat this-(because perusing or grazing the fridge is not a good option) it is to work out. Once I had tried it a couple of times I remembered when you workout endorphins are released-which is what depression is-decrease in endorphins. I would like to think I have come up with the cure for depression (which doesn't result in a commercial on late night television stating if you have taken these drugs call a lawyer), but I know I haven't.
What I do know is I am going to keep trying, I going to continue to give this my best. I'm not perfect and I'm going to have some short comings, but hopefully I will learn from then and my battle with obesity will become a inspiration to someone else to not give up but to push on for the greater good.
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end” - Ursula K. LeGuin
“Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey.” - Alex Noble
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