As I look at her face, I am reminded of my mother-and her struggle with eating. I reminded because both women ultimately lost their battle. I pray that I can do this for my daughter. I don't talk about my eating disorder with very many people. The ones I do talk about my eating habits with understand. This struggle is far worst than drugs or alcohol. You need food to survive. This struggle is real. It saddens me that people pass judgement on overweight people. Society says also assumes so many negative things about over weight individuals: "they smell", "they are dirty", "they are all lazy"," they are dumb". When the truth is that we just dont have restraint and discipline when it comes eating habits and physical activity. You can see our struggle on the outside; where as you cant see an alcohol or pornography addiction.
Commitment. We are studying about the church at Corinth in bible study. I like the title my pastor gave "Church Gone Wild". Wednesday we came to this word: commitment. I thought about my commitment. I have now been going to the gym for almost six months. This is the longest I have continuously gone. I thought to myself if I would have quit by now I would not be where I am now. I think about my commitment to go to the gym and cook my meals (It helps that Catch was there the very first day). Now, I don't like to think of myself as a commitment-phoebe, but while my pastor was speaking on the subject my mind took a brief trip back in time (I was still listening to him though-the whole time). About seven years back I was dating this guy-at this point I would have to say it has been one of my longest lasting relationships; lasting all of six months. We took a trip down to Miami. One thing led to another and I left him there in Miami. He wasn't stranded or in any sort of danger (I made sure the hotel was paid), but I did ride down with him (we had a car rented) but called my "bestie" in central Florida to come take me home two days early. At the time, I really didn't get why he was so upset I left, and maybe I still don't. My pastor talking about commitment made me think it could be possible he was upset that I didn't commit and stick it out with the relationship. I faltered on our commitment to one another. I make mistakes and sin on a regular basis. Now I know what they mean when they say " Hind sight is 20/20".
So, I cant keep calling my "Person of Interest" a "Person of Interest". Like I mentioned in a previous post he has made a nice change. I will refer to him now as : Jodi. There is nothing sexier in a man than him loving his Savior, our King.
I don't know that about Catch, I don't know anything about Catch. When I left the gym today he was leaving out also and I held the door for him. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to come home with me so Santa could put him underneath my Christmas tree. Of, course I couldn't, I wouldn't. It didn't stop me from imagining him under my tree with only a red bow and black silk pajama pants. :). I digress. I forgot to take the posters for our Christmas service at Cascades(5 more days) into the gym so I will have take it there tomorrow night (Look at me, making up excuses to go to the gym on a Friday night).
What to keep in mind for this post: the commitment. There have been times when I have not wanted to got to the gym (at least once a month). There have been nights when I have eaten so horribly, I thought I would never work it off (I learned you should not try to work out to offset what you have eaten). I also see my commitment has allowed my to be 35lbs lighter than i was six months ago;my commitment has taught me that hard work and dedication will help achieve my goals. My commitment has taught me that though I may sin and stumble, though I may make mistakes, if I remain committed. I will run the course, the journey my Savior has before me, for His glory,
No comments:
Post a Comment