The Custodian

 Prayer: I pray God gives our lawmakers and leader wisdom and discernment as he did for the leaders in the bible.  Our Savior has already empowered and embolden us with the knowledge, resources and abilities. May he give us the compassion to govern with a heart for the people we serve.  

    I am confused. When I am confused I have questions.  First, why was the pro tempore put in place? More specifically what was the purpose of appointing a pro tempore? Was it to say a prayer and bang the gavel each day and to provide the next assembly? Setting the next meeting and banging the gavel could be done by the custodian.  By custodian, I mean the person who empties the trash bins at the end of the day. I was under the impression the pro tempore was set in place for the assembly to be able to continue with the business at hand -until the next speaker had been selected. There are two pressing matters that need immediate attention: aid/defense and CR to the budget fast approaching. In order to handle the business of the day and address the matters; workflow will need to continue. Continuing at a slower pace is far better than stopping all workflow. These are unprecedented circumstances, keeping this in mind; the pro tempore should be shown some grace, respect and support in getting bills to the floor and passed. 

    I understand aid support to Ukraine and Israel, but when did Taiwan come into the picture for assistance.  Better yet, why have they been brought into the picture? I wake up one morning and see Taiwan in the budget.  One of my biggest pet peeves is piggy-backing in the political arena.  The most convoluted occurrence of this is on the local ballot.  On local level taxpayers are polled and ask to agree to add a home exception tax credit and in the same question  piggy -back taxing  the people for the next 19 years to build a casino in their back yard. In a larger picture, not allowing a resolution for aid/defense or CR budget in order to get funds allocated towards putting up this wall or strengthening border patrol is subversive. Lets work together.

    Enhanced border security and immigration enforcement. Sigh. This one is hard and I believe will take some research. It is hard because this country was founded on "discovery" by Christopher Columbus, who before discovering was a foreigner. Then those now know as African-American were brought to America against their will and kept as slaves. It wasn't until hundreds of years later those same African-American were "said to be equals".  Based on this I say open up the borders and let anyone that wants to take a shot at the "American dream" have at it. If one is willing to work hard and be a productive member of society-who am I to deny.  The fentanyl crisis can resolve itself thorough natural selection. It may sound harsh, but to what end do we pour into the never ending war on drugs.  Our children need education, after school programs, tools and resources. Note to self, research best practices for US, Mexico, Canada, South Korea, UAE and UK border patrol policies and security. 

Its been a week! Goal for next week continued pray for those caught in the crossfire. 

State of the nation

 Where do I begin? With prayer.  My prayers are with Israel and Ukraine, may God give them favor and peace. 

    Now as for the House speaker, there is too much money for these folks not to get it together. Matt Gaetz made a powerful move removing McCarthy from the position.  However, paralleling this to a chess move, he left the nation vulnerable. This vulnerability comes at a time when the US cannot afford.  Until recently I didn't know McHenry was sitting pro tempore and essentially going through the motions each day until a permanent was selected. At this point, the nation needs to make moves. From what I have gathered Scalise withdrew and Jordan isn't the right one either. McHenry seems content with doing the minimum and is not looking to help precedence to be written.  I think for the next six months or until the next speaker has been selected, McCarthy and McHenry should work together to get aid packages to Israel and Ukraine. The 6 B that Ukraine requested is not going to be plausible. What is more plausible is 50% going back into US defense (China and Russia off the coast of Alaska in International waters did not go unnoticed), 25% going to Ukraine and 25% going to Israel. 

    Next an approach meeting needs to be set up to work out how the budget will be handled.  The CR has already taken place allowing more time, but a systematic approach to cut the budget needs to be established. No one, and that is absolutely no one needs to come to the table without less than 20% in budget cuts. The approach meeting needs to set out how the budget will be reviewed, when and which date each of the 12 agenda items are to be addressed, the first being aid and defense. Two agenda items a month and meetings every week until this gets sorted out is the only way this is going to work in the favor of our nation. 

    We as a nation need for these "Representatives" to put aside the pettiness, such as going after Biden when those efforts can be put to good use elsewhere.  McCarthy still needs to work this out like he stated when he was voted in, and since McHenry is already in place, he will have to do more.  Like bring the agenda items to the floor and possibly getting the House on the same page. He cant do it by himself, he will need help. Who better than the man that was ousted and the last one in the position. Compromise and communication should not be a new concept. 

Big dreams, small steps

 https://gofund.me/363bb213

Twinkle in the Stars

 Well, I don't even know where to start.  I will say it felt good when I found this blog again.  I had really thought that it was gone and I was never going to be able to access it again. However, I am here!

When I tell you there has been so much of a change and as I am getting things out, there are changes in the works.  I really don't know where to start.  One thing that is the same is Jesus is still on the throne and the center of my life.  Now a days I talk to him a lot more because I feel he is the only one I can talk to about anything.  He wont judge me and He always understands. 

I don't know how the last quarter of 2020 is going to go, I am glad to have made it through. How will 2020 Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas look? How will 4th quarter sales look with so much of the country out of work?   Definitely something for the record books.   I will start when things started to really change.  So at the end of 2019 I started in a new position at work.  It was rocky at first and took about three months for me to get acclimated. I was beginning to doubt myself; but another shift happened and there were some abrupt changes, which I didn't see coming. Then Covid19 happened and I learned and adapted to things a lot faster than I normally have when it comes to change.  I like the work I am doing now and I am more confident due to working with a limited staff.  Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.  It helps me focus and work better with fewer people. You see, I am a very private person, working with fewer people allows me to work on the task at hand rather than having to divide my time between interpersonal work relationships.  I still work on a team so i am still developing this skills set. 

I am working on strengthening my fiances so I can eventually purchase a house.  For years I didn't want to purchase a home, but I have had enough of "city living".  I really want a country home.  One thing at a time. Not sure if it is because I am getting older or my patience has just been running thin.  I am just so incredibly annoyed by certain things: rental agent not responding to work order  repairs in a timely manner, other renters being loud and boisterous, parking, and lack of privacy, just to name few.

I got my passport in the last quarter of 2019 with the intent to visit some countries I had dreamed about, but then the pandemic started and my travel dreams got grounded for at least a year. Maybe once all this is really over I can visit New York again like I planned and other places like Colombia and Spain. This will have to go on the back burner for now. 

I never thought this is what 2020 would be like, growing up.  When I was in middle and high school, I used to think to myself I wonder what it would be like in the year 2020. This thought was often prompted by the television show 20/20.  I am certainly grateful for the advancement in technology.  The ability to order groceries online and have them delivered through apps like Instacart is a nice feature.  I really like that you can order groceries from wholesale stores such as Sam's Club (without a membership) or alcohol from ABC liquor delivered.  Dating online is still a nightmare, I just saw on Court TV the other day that a lady was killed by a guy she met up with from online.  I am also excited about being able to vote by mail and track my ballot to make sure it made it to be counted. I would have never thought there would be shows like: 90 day Fiance, Love After Lock Up or Bridezillas. 

I am still struggling with my weight and self image. I have entertained the thought of Bariatric surgery or what I like to call "slim jim" surgery.  I have researched the sleeve vs. bypass, but the thought of surgery feels like a bit much at times. 

Well, this is a good bit to post for the first time back. 

Rewrite the Stars

My life, featuring God.

[Verse 1: Lecrae]
Hold up, wait up
You can't stop this here, you can't top this tier
Work too hard, my God, I'ma play my card, I'ma leave your atmosphere
It's so toxic, and I hear your gossip
I'm aware they plottin', but I got no option
And I can't be stopped, I'ma keep on walkin'
In my power, in my purpose
And that back-biting's so worthless
And my faith on and it's workin'
I'm one-of-one and I'm certain
That I won the battle, it's over, we did it
I'm silk, I'm sweet, I'm Pete, no limit
Can't stop it, it's me and Koryn in the pocket
Got the plug in the socket, woo!

[Verse 2: Koryn Hawthorne]
They told you that you couldn't do it 'cause you're washed up
Ain't like them bad girls, said you should get your sauce up
But I got this plan and you might not understand
I'm gon' go hard as I can
And I'm gon' be the boss of it
Just watch me do this, put no limits, only swag on it
Walk right up to the front where I belong then brag on it
Go to the top, I'ma give it all I got
Might take a lot but we ain't gon' ever stop

[Pre-Chorus: Koryn Hawthorne]
Now, I do believe I'm something special
Can't take that from me
So you can say what you want
I go harder, stronger
Be who I'm supposed to be

[Chorus: Koryn Hawthorne]
'Cause I'm unstoppable, I get all the way in it
That's the way I was made and I'm up on my bidness
'Cause I'm unstoppable, ain't no hoping and wishing
Say a prayer, catch a wave then I go out and get it
'Cause I can be what I want, try it if I want
Powered by the King and He won't let me fall
'Cause I'm unstoppable
Nah, nah, He won't let me fall
'Cause I'm unstoppable

[Verse 3: Koryn Hawthorne]
I dream about it, I go get it, that's how I do it
Not in the stars, I'm not lucky, I just pray through it
Fall on my face and I might make mistakes
But I don't let it break me
'Cause I'm still on my way

[Pre-Chorus: Koryn Hawthorne]
I do believe I'm something special
Can't take that from me
So you can say what you want
I go harder, stronger
Be who I'm supposed to be

[Chorus: Koryn Hawthorne]
'Cause I'm unstoppable, I get all the way in it
That's the way I was made and I'm up on my bidness
'Cause I'm unstoppable, ain't no hoping and wishing
Say a prayer, catch a wave then I go out and get it
'Cause I can be what I want, try it if I want
Powered by the King and He won't let me fall
'Cause I'm unstoppable
Nah, nah, He won't let me fall
'Cause I'm unstoppable

[Bridge: Koryn Hawthorne]
Come what may, I rest in his safety
Winds may blow, waves won't over take me
Tears in my eyes but I'm still gon' survive
'Cause He's incredible, He's powerful
And I will rise from the bottom 'cause He said so

[Chorus: Koryn Hawthorne]
'Cause I'm unstoppable, I get all the way in it
That's the way I was made and I'm up on my bidness
'Cause I'm unstoppable, ain't no hoping and wishing
Say a prayer, catch a wave then I go out and get it
'Cause I can be what I want, try it if I want
Powered by the King and He won't let me fall
'Cause I'm unstoppable
Nah, nah, He won't let me fall
'Cause I'm unstoppable

Real Love

Real Love

Blanca

This isn't easy
For me to admit
I got a fire inside and some words I know I can't keep in
I see faith turning
Into a show
Of Sundays and sermons
And words getting caught in the flow

Oh, but we got real pain and real fears
Thirsting for the drying of our real tears
It's not satisfying anymore
Ain't it true that the veil was torn

I don't need no stained glass
To be washed in His blood
I don't need no perfect, put together pretty words
To be enough, no
I want Jesus and His real love
Something that I crave deep inside of my bones
So you can leave your religion at home

Spent my life trying
To keep all the rules
Now I know it's about what He's already done
Not about what I think that I gotta do

I don't need no stained glass
To be washed in His blood
I don't need no perfect, put together pretty words
To be enough, no
I want Jesus and His real love
Something that I crave deep inside of my bones
So you can leave your religion at home

I want real, real love, hey

I got real pain and real fears
Thirsting for the drying of real tears
It's not satisfying anymore
Ain't it true that the veil was torn

I don't need no stained glass
To be washed in His blood
I don't need no perfect, put together pretty words
To be enough, no
I want Jesus and His real love
Something that I crave deep inside of my bones
So you can leave your religion at home

I want real, real love
I want real, real love
I want real, real love
Oh, yeah, yeah

Songwriters: Blanca Elaine Reyes / Jordan Sapp / Emily Weisband

Real Love lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group

Found

It is so hard developing genuine relationships. Don't get me wrong, I have friends who know me on different levels. I can relate to some friends because we are single parents, others know my struggles and goals, some can understand me because they did not grow of with a father figure or have lost their mother. No one knows me on a deep spiritual, emotional and or intimate level.  At times, it feels as though many eyes are on me, that there are those watching what I am doing simply for their own benefit. I have said many times, I do not like competition.  I am not one to compete with others, each day I work toward being my best self and a better me. I work hard because that is what I know and how to work hard. I am going to be honest and say, there are times when I do not know what I am doing. I am wrong, I make mistakes, I doubt, have insecurities and I get lost.  I am in a season where I feel I have no one to turn to, so I have learned to turn to God. I rest on Him.  In the times where there seems to be little hope, and I am lost within myself, I look up and find my Savior there.  When I am lost, in a world where there does not seem to be anyone to love me or can see me for the person I am, He finds me. He loves me, right where I am, and He holds out His hand for me. . . .

                                                               I'll find You  by   Lecrae